Logbook Entry
Curious. This Frequency Analyzer and X-tractor Machine shouldn't be receiving anything. Is it even hooked up to phone lines?
The F.A.X. Machine is an unlockable station in the Auto Shop via the Fabrication Station. The Machine will display one of 150 messages upon loading a save from the Shop or returning to the Shop from a trip. The sources of these messages are unknown, but may be emanating from other zone residents past and present. The messages include radio chatter, cocktail recipes supposedly by Oppy, news bulletins, and various nonsensical or corrupted others. The messages appear in English, Spanish, and morse-coded English.
The Driver can also store Records here.
Fax Machine Messages
| Message | Note | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| -. --- / --- -. . --..-- / -. --- / --. --- ...- . .-. -. -- . -. - / .- --. . -. -.-. -.-- --..-- / .... .- ... / .--- ..- .-. .. ... -.. .. -.-. - .. --- -. / --- ...- . .-. / - .... . / - .-. ..- - .... -.-.-- | "NO ONE, NO GOVERNMENT AGENCY, HAS JURISDICTION OVER THE TRUTH!" | ||
| -.-. .- ..- ... . / --- ..-. / -.. . .- - .... ---... / - .- .-. -.. .. --. .-. .- -.. . ... .-.-.- | "CAUSE OF DEATH: TARDIGRADES." | ||
| . .-.. ...- .. ... / .-.. .. ...- . ... .-.-.- / .... . / .. ... / .. -. / - .... . / --.. --- -. . .-.-.- | "ELVIS LIVES. HE IS IN THE ZONE." | ||
| .- .-.. .-.. / -.. --- -. . .-.-.- / -... -.-- . / -... -.-- . .-.-.- | "ALL DONE. BYE BYE." | ||
| N---jkEWSFLASH ELMA, September 20th, 1966. After this summer's exponential increase in seismic activity, geologists now believe we may be witnessing the formation of a new volcano, or even a chain of volcanoes, across the Olympic Peninsula. It's still unknown what's behind this unprecedente4444HELP4444 | |||
| eeeeEEWSFLASH BLACKBERRY LAKE, November 2nd, 1967. Local arborist Cynthia Wan has the most extraordinary claim. These cuttings, she says, are a new subspecies of fir that will grow at a speed you will not believe. Wan won't say where she found-found-FOUND-FOUN | |||
| NnNEWSFLASH SEATTLE, January 29th, 1968. Today sees the opening of a landmark class action lawsuit by government employees who allege that the state of Washington knowingly sent them to perform what they are describing as "profoundly dangerous and extremely unhealthy" duties that have resulted in long-term illnes-1-1pOol | |||
| neWSFLASH PORT ANGELES, June 1st, 1968. Can you sum it up in a word? No. A sound? WOAARGHhhh-f6673 | |||
| news()NEWSFLASH EDMONDS, September 12th, 1968. Tragedy today as a sixth aircraft is reported missing in the airspace over the Olympic Peninsula. On another day of unusually foggy conditions, after what seemed like an initially clear morning, experienced local pilot Rachelle McKi-((( | |||
| 1111111111EWSFLASH SEATTLE, February 19th, 1969. In a surprisingly public display of displeasure, Pierce County Sheriff Buck O' Bostrell sounded off today on what he feels is a lack of support from ARDA and government employees in tracking fugitives who flee to the Olympic Peninsula. Suspects are all too aware that law enforcement is limited in their ability to pursue those who enter this restricCcCCcCcCCCC | |||
| wwwrr99WSFLASH CLEARWATER, April 20th, 1969. New developments today in the shocking case of the radioactive possum controversy. Local man Lyle McKrut says he knows what it is that causes the possums to fly, as well at to speak with the voice of late President Lawrence KochVVVVVV | |||
| NEWSFLASH TACOMA, May 16th, 1969. Accountant Alejandro Lopez has reappeared after an eight year absence, claiming to have no memory of where he has been and no awareness of the amount of time that has passed. This from our reporter Simon Mu-u-u-u- | |||
| orcaNEWSFLASH OLYMPIA, June 27th, 1969. Washington biologist and bear expert Paul Dean says he knows why the animals are no longer present on the Olympic Peninsula, though his bizarre theories and disruptive behavior have landed him in hot water. Bursting into a legislative session in the capitol building this morning, Dean insisted that a conversation he had with a pod of orca had revea-orcaAorca | |||
| 09WSFLASH OLYMPIA, June 27th, 1969. Describing his actions as "downright peculiar," Olympia police have detained the man for further questioning, but say they have not yet pressed charges. Meanwhile, protests continue downtown as federal workers and their families express their displeasure at ongoing ARDA layoffszzzzzz- | |||
| NEWSFLASHNEWSFLASHNEWSFLASHNEWSFLASH ELMA, August 4th, 1969. Strange new footage has emerged that shows the legendary Bigfoot strolling through a state park near Elma, on the Olympic Peninsula. Captured by a hiker who wishes to remain anonymous, the 8mm film is remarkably clear and unarguably depicts a humanoid figure of some size moving just within the treeline. Later we'll be speaking to local Bigfoot expert Beth Rosen, who liked the movie-NEWSFLASHBeth | |||
| NEWSFLASH SEATTLE, August 17th, 1969. Air quality continues to suffer today as a result of ongoing forest fires raging through the Olympic Peninsula. Despite growing concerns from state officials, ARDA have refused to grant firefighters access to the-to the-to | |||
| NEWSFLASH the burndown is increasing I REPEAT THE BURNDOWN IS GOING UP NOT DOWN | |||
| It's not an international incident if we don't tell anyone. There are a lot of Canadians in the world. Who's going to miss four?! | |||
| It's not an international incident if we don't tell anyone. There are a lot of Canadians in the world. Who's going to miss three?! | |||
| It's still not an international incident if we don't tell anyone. There are a lot of Canadians in the world. Who's going to miss sixteen?! | |||
| Oppy's Belcher recipe: Add equal splashes of orange liqueur and bourbon to cold brew coffee. Mix in cream to taste and add maple syrup when more sweetness is required. NB: heavy, cloying. | |||
| Oppy's Buzz Bunny recipe: Combine creme de cacao, cognac, and coffee grounds. Allow to cool and infuse in a fridge, before adding cream. Shake well with ice. Pour over ice. NB: consider a hot version of this. | |||
| Oppy's Cinnamon Boom Bunny recipe: Add one shot of whiskey to 6oz coffee (warm or cold) and sprinkle in cinnamon. Mix with cream or milk depending on preference. Consider brown sugar or splash of apple liqueur. NB: sweet. | |||
| Oppy's Devil Grinder recipe: Circle the inside of the rim of a glass with honey and let it begin to drip down. Sprinkle this wet lightly with coffee grounds. Pour in one cup of cold coffee and one shot of tequila. Add lemon juice to taste, or alternatively garnish with lemon peel. | |||
| Oppy's Hazelnut Pickpocket recipe: Circle the inside of a rim of a glass with brown sugar. Mix 2 oz espresso and 1 oz brandy and warm gently. Pour into glass and top with lightly whipped cream and a heavy drizzle of chopped or crushed hazelnut. NB: experimenting with brandy/cognac dose. | |||
| Oppy's Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster recipe: Gently mix one part gin, one part light rum, one part vodka and one part tequila with two parts creme de menthe and two parts Galliano. Pour slowly into crushed ice and drizzle with lemon juice or garnish with slice of lemon. | |||
| Oppy's Stomper recipe: Blend 7 oz coffee with 1 oz rum (warm or cold). Top with 1 oz frothy milk or whipped cream. Top with individual coffee beans. NB: consider coconut rum and/or creme de cacao. | |||
| Oppy's Tourist Trap recipe: Blend 6 oz coconut milk with 2 oz mezcal and 2 oz coffee liqueur. Consider agave nectar. Top with a thin layer of chocolate flakes or chocolate syrup. NB: probably bad for you. | |||
| Oppy's new Negroni recipe: Mix equal parts gin, sweet vermouth, and Campari. Ice and strain. Add a half shot of cold espresso. Garnish with orange or cherry or both. | |||
| Esto no es posible ni concebible. Y sin embargo es cierto. ¿Es esto un secreto de estado? ¿Deberíamos decírselo a otros países? | "This is neither possible nor concievable. And yet, it is certain. Is this a state secret? Should we tell other countries?" | ||
| Sexto día de estar perdido en este lugar. Todavía no hay señales de vida animal. ¿Pero la vida vegetal? Extraordinario. | "Day six of being lost in this place. Still no signs of animal life. But plant life? Extraordinary." | ||
| Hoy comí un hongo. Eso gritó. | "Today I ate a mushroom. That screamed." | ||
| La mayor?a de ellos parecen ignorar a las personas. Son vehh<h<h<culos que no les gustan... | "Most of them seem to ignore people. It's vehicles they don't like..." | ||
| Tardigrade count stable at 100tpm. Starting the experiment. This is it, people. A new chapter in the history of science! | |||
| Tardigrade count increasing. We're now passing 150tpm. I'm seeing... no, it's fine. It's well within normal parameters. | |||
| Tardigrade count further increasing. We're now passing 250tpm. Approaching safe operating limit. This is... we didn't expect this kind of growth. What are they doing in there? Are they... spelling out letters? | |||
| Tardigrade count out of control!. We're well past 500tpm! They're self-aware! They've created a society! We can't contain them! | |||
| TARDIGRADE COUNT AT 1,000TPM. OH MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF TARDIGRADES. TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER. I'M SORRY, I'M SO SORRY. WE ONLY HAD GOOD INTENTIONS I'M NEVER SEEING MY KIDS AGAI- | |||
| ______so why am I being blocked from this LIM-related space stuff? Are you telling me I can't access any of the data relating to synchrotron emission analysis? You know I can just scan at 408 MHz on my own time, right? I can collect this stuff myself? What are we researching that I'm not allowed toXXXXXX-hjhkhjh | |||
| ----BUSY SIGNAL---- | |||
| ---lL-L-55"@@@Lynn: Idea for an Anomaly petting zoo, highlighting how many of them are docile and even helpful. Call it "Friends with Benefits." No, wait... | |||
| -is known by a variety of aliases, including the Rainforest Rogue, the Washington Wanderer, the Green Avenger, McKnife, or simply Scott. State police are frustrated by interagency bureaucracy and miscommunication that prevents them from pursuing suspects into the Olympic Peninsula, where military police insist only they have jurisdiction. Local politicians also feel this increasingly secretive- | |||
| -ttttttthe hiker credits his survival to his two dogs, Dante and Mango, who fought off what he describes as a gigantic shrieking sphere of electrical energy that chased him down the mountain. Meteorologists have suggested this was the rare phenomenon known as ball lightning, but he insists this was something quite differen11F- | |||
| .................AUTOMATED STATUS REPORT 23DCX1F: Multiple scan attempts rejeceted from source. New tuning configurations 33,55,XD,A Priority En348253fddd.sd.x.. | |||
| ....Hello? Is this coming through? This has to be attempt number....sdf&7213r123... | |||
| ....I'm trapped out here now. I tried going backwards, back the way I came. But parts of me seem stuck. Like I can't re235123t fdsds!3r | |||
| ....Sometimes I think it's just safe to assume things are going through. It may not be the sane thing to think. But it definitely helps me sleep at nighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh | |||
| ))---f4fF-but I don't think that was Bill you let through, I think that was three Anomalies in a trenchcoat>---CCNGTttTTT | |||
| )))mMore like facts machine amirite))8**8 | |||
| ///TTThis thing's like an epiphyte, you know? A plant that lives on another plant. These things are just? Attaching themselves.#~gklk | |||
| #~#We pulled at some of those roots. We tugged them up. It was a tree. The trees are growing INTO the ground.rootroot | |||
| ~~~~~###wWwWe're just... normal men... Just... innocent men...}}}}}55901-ggop$$tt | |||
| 1!!!I HAVE BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO TELEPHONE SIGNAL PLEASE TRANSFORM ME BAC%%%% | |||
| 222h2Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Bugwatch! I'm Nicole and I'm an entomologist, which means I LOVE bugs. Today I want to tell you all about a curious new bug I found out near Sierram, a subspecies I don't think we've ever seen before. And here it is! As you can see, I- OW. OW. OW! GOD DAMNIT OW! GET OFF! GET O-**2 | |||
| 3ACKSYNACKSYN3If you're reading this it's already too late. Unless you're reading this after June 30th, 2000, in which case it is too early.,,,,,,,<<<<,,,,< | |||
| Another one. ANOTHER ONE! I swear this freaking tube went from A9 to D52. What the sdf8*Df8823 | |||
| Beware the LIM FairBezwre th LIM FaerBewarr cz LIM Fqir3LIM LIM LIM LIM | |||
| cli---It's 7am and it's time to find out if these anomalies like ROCK AND ROLL!L!L!ll777-+= | |||
| Code 10-40 Code 10-40! Oh god. Pleasfss3r3f.... | |||
| Consider developing a form of continuation without reproduction | |||
| Consider greater environmental awareness | |||
| Consider researching extended lifespan | |||
| Dad, if you can hear us, we're sorry. We're so sorry. We just wanted to see it for ourselves. Dad? Dad? Please respond. Dad? Dad?!vvVVVfffFFf | |||
| dndndnddouwnload77%klCAANCELDOWNLOADyou wouldn't download a car-----CANCEL DOWNLOAD55%% | |||
| Do not mistake my reaction to our difference as my indifference, I am greatly invested | |||
| Do you modify the vehicle because you cannot modify yourself | |||
| Don't trust anything that comes out of the fax machine. Except this. | |||
| fffFV|:This must be where pies go when they dieiIII$ | |||
| hHhHHhHey Bill. kjh446 You notice how chocolate tastes different lately? I mean, different to back home? Like, kinda slimy?&^??? | |||
| Hold on, I think there's a cat in my keyboard. No, I said that right. IN my keyboard. | |||
| Holy sh^^*vvv I thought this was a shredder. I've been faxing everything we were supposed to destroy. Holy sGGGt. | |||
| Houston, we have a problem: It's back. | |||
| How many times do I have to tell you? DON'T DRINK THE WATER. | |||
| I am only trying to understand you I am only trying to understand you I am only trying to understand you I am only trying to understand you | |||
| I communicate through the water bears | |||
| I have taken a cross-section of your reality for further analysis | |||
| I have taken some of you for further analysis | |||
| I must understand the death process you will assist me | |||
| I see now | |||
| I see now the value of forgetting to purge nonessential information but the process is inefficient | |||
| I see now you are all individual lifeforms how do you maintain cohesion of purpose | |||
| I see now you are also made of many constituent entities performing circulation digestion reproduction | |||
| I see now you evolve over time how do you maintain cohesion of behavior | |||
| I shall be seeing you soon | |||
| I shall return your astronauts soon | |||
| I thought you mentioned Geoff. Geoffers? I can't seem to remember. Things got hahzasfdfa3r23333 | |||
| I will assess your value | |||
| I'm still alive I'm just in here now I'm just in here now tell someone. | |||
| I've been turned into pure dataI've been turned into pure dataI've been turned into pure dataI've been turned into pure dataDO NOT DELETE ANY FILES ON ANY COMPUTER IN THE ZONEI've been turned into pure dataI've been turned into pure dataI've been turned into pure data | |||
| Idea: Kids TV show about Anomalies. Something that demystifies them, makes them friendly and approachable. Possibly do it with puppets. DO NOT mention the Mt. Walker massacre. What do you think? Call me.me.me.me.mePRUPPETS | |||
| If you are looking for a sign to push on through the adversity, this is it | |||
| IIIII'm not alive. I'm not sentient. I just believe that I am. Y'know'a'ad | |||
| Imagine salt crystals in a margarita. The tequila and juice getting mixed up down in there. It sloshes about. Some of the salt gets mixed in. Some of it falls loose. We're the salt on the rim. The Zone is the cocktail. We have to keep it in the glass, make sure it never spills over. We don't ever go in there or we get mixed in too. Got it? | |||
| Insecurities are curiously self-destructive, if you could see yourself from the outside and with greater circumspection, you would appreciate your ability | |||
| Is instinct intelligence? Do we know why we want things? What does that mean for the anomalies? | |||
| Is it difficult to know how to communicate with you | |||
| Is the vehicle your psychopomp | |||
| Light is a more efficient medium for me to travel through than liquid, gas, plasma | |||
| MAYDAY MAYDAY THIS IS NINE CHARLIE VICTOR THREE THREE OUT OF PORT ORCHARD AIRPORT. I HAVE LOST CONTROL OF MY AIRCRAFT ABOVE THE OLYMPIC PENINSULA. I- I CAN'T MOVE. AIRCRAFT IS COMPLETELY STATIONARY. | |||
| Milk never curdles in the Zone. in the Zone. in the Zone. in the Zone. in the Zone. in the Zone. in the Zone. in the Zone. | |||
| More tourists trying to cross the water from Canada. We've got an abandoned boat in the cove again, tracks leading inland, and more blood. | |||
| No man, you don't get it. It's not that I can't sleep. It's that, since coming here, I don't need to sleep. I haven't felt tired in six years. | |||
| None of this can be undone | |||
| OH GOD JIM I THINK I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE I THINK THEY USED TO BE RACCOONS THEY'RE INSIDE THE HOUSE JIM THEY'RE INSIDE THE HOUSE | |||
| ooOOoo-***88-THE OLYMPIC EXCLUSION ZONE'S ONLY AND BEST PIRATE RADIO STATION, better than any of those English Channel amateursSs----FFFFx | |||
| Oozing with great taste! Contains 100% real fruit juice and authentic Anomaly extracts! FDA approved! | |||
| Patel, can you hear me? We made it! It works! We're inside. Sending this out on all channels at... midday exactly, August 4th, 1968! I knew this was safefefefe | |||
| Photography has become incredibly difficult. Radiation and? and whatever else is happening here means most film is ruined. But you have to believe that I sawwwkl | |||
| Please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy | |||
| Radiation everywhere. But no explanation as to the source. How is this possible? And how am I unharmed after such a high dose? | |||
| Rrrl'TALK to us today about how to unlock the potential of your ARDA retirement plan, because your savings should be part of your present, as well as your futururururueruruereuere | |||
| Sanderson is reporting a pimple that he can just keep squeezing. It never empties, no matter how long he pushes on it. Can you add that to the list? Yeah, just put it under P. Yeah, for pimple. | |||
| See me in what you call the transient lunar phenomenon | |||
| Signal is failing, turn up the 4d3d3d3. | |||
| sORRY, looks like yOu got ZONE DRONED. Wwould you like to playY again? Insert 5c to contininininue playing ZONE DRONE 3D | |||
| Stay and let me understand you better | |||
| Take your trash home take your trash home otherwise it ends up scrambled in with everything else in this godforsaken place and you help build the nightmarerereare | |||
| That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mank- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT | |||
| The roads will take you home, Henry! The roads will take you home! Listen to me. You know how this place mixes everything up? You see how it doesn't mix up the roads? That's the key! Forget about where the buildings, the trees, or the landmarks are! Stick to the roads! | |||
| The thing is, doc, I don't think these are nightmares. I think I'm going somewhere else. | |||
| The water bears are resilient, adaptable, and remarkably diverse; you have much in common | |||
| The weather outside of the Appalachians today is looking great folks. Remember if you're hiking high into the woods to breasasddf sdvcxccc./.. | |||
| They prey on vehicles. It's like they eat them. | |||
| This is Bravo company. We've encountered half a dozen campers by O'Neil Creek. They claim nobody stopped them entering. They, uh, also claim it's 1955. Over. | |||
| This woman. She doesn't know what she created, but who ever does? We can't control how our inventions are used. | |||
| Ttheytheyththehhey say there?s a motel at the center of the Zone that still operates as if nothing has happened. It checks in guests and offers them cable. The ice machine kills one person every night.NIGHT444HELP444 | |||
| ujaU'RE through to ANOMALY PEST CONTROL. We're experiencing an usually high volume of calls right now and all of our operators are busy. Your call is important to us. In order for us to best direct your request, please select from the following options. Press 1 if the Anomaly you are trying to deal with is in your home. Press 2 if the Anomaly you are trying to deal with is outside. Press 3 if the Anomaly is responsible for any kind of loss of life. Press 4 if you think you have become an Anom-m- | |||
| URGENTurgent scope expansion reaching critical levels please control or else you will never ship this ga--x-x-xx-x | |||
| We can use LIM for improved electroplating! Bond metals like we never have before! It's a revolution! OH GOD MY HAND. | |||
| We're seeing amazing tardigrade variations here. Gorgeous specimens displaying unusual behaviors. | |||
| Welcome to Anomalies as a Coherent and Integrated Ecosystem. In this three-part lecture I will- | |||
| Welcome, all, to the third meeting of the Society of Radio Reconstruction on today, March 2nd, 1950! Dr. Turner, thank you for inviting us. Please, take the stand and show us this extraordinary gadget you've beenXXXX | |||
| What's wrong with all my questions?! They're the questions of a sane man! What's happening with all the test dummies in the Zone?! What was Raymond doing with his hands?! How did the old ladies turn into Russians?! | |||
| When did you last see a bird? Are we sure it's birds making the bird noises? | |||
| wvevvev&&&&&we've been trying to reach you about updating your tickets in noti--a--c-- | |||
| wvevvev&&&&&we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty//// | |||
| y6yY66You think you can drive a car and change the world? It doesn't work like that!!lllk......_... | |||
| Yes, you're right, this wall exists to stop people from getting in. But, by god, I hope it also stops those things from getting out. | |||
| You are damaging your biome | |||
| You are the 6,252nd such species I have encountered | |||
| You are the second most advanced species to occupy your planet | |||
| You have many qualities that inhibit your calculation | |||
| You have not established a method by which we can communicate | |||
| You hear about what they found on the Moon? No? Yeah, they don't want you to hear about it......,,,---fffFFFFFFffffTHEY FOUND ME,,,, | |||
| You heard my beep, you picked up. Here I am. | |||
| You must navigate your challenges with care, it is beyond my ability to calculate or to express how unique you are and thus how profound your loss would be | |||
| You will require much greater data processing and storage for what is to come for your species | |||
| Your pre-literate history is quite fascinating | |||
| Your species tolerates so much uncertainty, confusion, adversity, but nevertheless you persist; I believe you would call this bravery and it is certainly a noteworthy quality | |||
| yyy65yY'know that guy on the radio, the one talking about the trees? He's the key to all this. But he lives in a stable pocket with no way in or out. Even time remains static ther--^-^^^ |